The news is a parade of terrible economic headlines. Amazon, UPS, General Motors, and Paramount are executing massive layoffs. The President's attempts to stem the tide feel like trying to stop a tidal wave with a teacup named Tariff. Meanwhile, companies are aggressively investing capital in AI and automation, effectively giving human labor its two weeks’ notice, "Don't let the door hit ya in the butt on the way out".
Here’s the dark joke: The Market is rewarding this. Companies that slash and burn see their stocks surge. It’s capitalism at its most ruthless, functioning on the principle that if you fire enough people, you can afford a yacht. Look for example at the Chart's on UPS. I'm not a Chart Investor by any means, I think you're better off watching the Morning News on ABC than looking at Charts for some guidance.
It makes my blood boil, especially when I look around and see a pervasive, almost cancerous self-centeredness in consumer behavior. The weak saving sentiment in the American consumer is horrifying, and the selfishness, even among people who claim to follow the command to, "Love thy Neighbor", (That came from Jesus, btw) feels pervasive. But as an investor, my job is to follow the money, not fix humanity. The money is running toward efficiency, however brutal.
Wendy’s: Great Food, Confusing Future
My strategic choice was hard because I genuinely love Wendy’s. My wife and I recently went, and the food quality was fantastic. We used their new digital ordering platform and, while the food was great, the experience itself felt a little like advanced quantum physics.
We ordered two Baconators and got three existential crises instead, primarily due to the platform's lack of memory. It was convenient, sure, but I didn't see the ability to "Log-in." There was no database-driven system to remember my order history or loyalty. Even Wawa's platform is an improvement.
As someone with a programming background, I kept thinking, "A simple PHP-written HTML spitting Database-driven Website could fix this with one file!" But I'm a chef in an investment kitchen, not a coder in the QSR tech lab. My personal programming frustration has to take a back seat to the brutal financial reality: when tech giants are judged on their digital moat, WEN’s moat is currently a puddle. So, I swapped my emotional connection for a rational staple without abandoning the Investment entirely.
KHC: The Split, The Cushion, The Confidence I have
This brings me to Kraft Heinz (KHC). When times are tough, people don't stop buying ketchup and mac-and-cheese. They just stop eating out.
The investment thesis here is straightforward and juicy:
The Dividend: It's huge (over 6.62%), it’s Qualified (so the tax man takes slightly less), and it’s a beautiful, reliable cushion while we wait for the action.
The Split: The news about a 2026 split into Global Taste Elevation Co. (the sexy, high-growth side) and North American Grocery Co. (the reliable cash cow) is investor gold. Who doesn't love a split? It's the corporate equivalent of an investor getting two cookies instead of one, and it typically unlocks significant value by allowing the market to assign the appropriate high multiple to the growth segment.
Moving from a stock with technological and structural questions (WEN) into a high-yield staple undergoing a major transformation (KHC) is a defensive strategy designed to capitalize on the food people must buy, not the restaurants they might visit.
Disclaimer: I am not a financial advisor. This is not investment advice. These are my personal, humor-laced investment musings. I currently hold shares in all companies mentioned in this article, including WEN and KHC, and I fully intend to purchase more shares of KHC following this post because, clearly, I am addicted to qualified dividends.
